hello my friends!!brrrrr!! got your gloves and mittens out?? ugh!! i'm moving to italy! in my dreams!! haha!! its no secret that i'm not a big believer in love anymore. i've mentioned it many times. i used to believe, i almost fell for it recently. i used to be this hopeless romantic...and not that long ago i thought i met the love of my life. he just didn't seem to feel the same way. all around me i see both couples in love and heartache. its a conundrum...lol. big word for such a little girl! anyway, so dummy me, i rented "letters to juliet" thinking, it will be a nice love story. and it was. i cried through the whole thing...what a sap! it was about love, loss, losing the one you love, and then finding them again, and being with the wrong person...and finding the right one. even though it was just a movie, it touched upon some very real subjects of the heart, and of life. we all know that most of the time life doesn't have the same happy endings that movies do. love is unpredictable. and as skeptical as i am on the outside, id like to think that on the inside im holding out for that happy ending. what i do know is that although i'm not totally disappointed, i'm not exactly where i thought i'd be in my life, but i'm still writing the ending.
we are born, we live, we die. sometimes not necessarily in that order. we put things to rest only to have them rise up again. so if death is not the end, what can you count on anymore? because you sure can't count on anything in life. life is the most fragile, unstable, unpredictable thing there is. in fact there is only one thing in life we can be sure of. it aint over 'til its over.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
is it real or is it memorex?
hello my friends!! hope you all survived the rain ok! personally i had to canoe from the house to the car!! LOL! ok maybe im embellishing a little, but it sounded funny!anyway...sometimes things happen to me...but then i have to think, am i remembering this right? or did i dream this up? was it all just a dream to start with? not that long ago a close friend met someone. he said that when she walked in the room, it took his breath away, and suddenly there was no one else in that room-just her. he had just met the love of his life, and they had an evening he would never forget. a kiss that would stay with him forever...like a dream or a fantasy. that's the way HE remembered it. but he never heard from her again...so he started to think maybe he dreamed it up. has that happened to you? you remember it differently then everyone else? and you are afraid to talk about it because you are afraid your friends will think you are crazy? or it might actually interfere with your friendships? and if it did actually happen that way, and the dream is true...then what happens? perception is a funny thing...and we all have one...
when fantasy meets reality you never know what you are going to get. sometimes the reality falls just a little short of the dream. and sometimes it exceeds all expectations. it takes courage to reveal your secret desires. sharing them is a gamble, that sometimes brings us closer together, and sometimes pulls us apart. maybe that old saying is true, be careful what you wish for...it might come true[that is, if was even real to start with] (men in trees)
when fantasy meets reality you never know what you are going to get. sometimes the reality falls just a little short of the dream. and sometimes it exceeds all expectations. it takes courage to reveal your secret desires. sharing them is a gamble, that sometimes brings us closer together, and sometimes pulls us apart. maybe that old saying is true, be careful what you wish for...it might come true[that is, if was even real to start with] (men in trees)
Monday, September 20, 2010
maybe we are all just a little homeless
hello my friends!! here we are again!! fall is upon us...i do love the change in seasons, if only it didn't lead into winter!! ugh!!! so i will make the most of what is left of the good weather and enjoy the beautiful foliage to come! i am definately an outdoors girl...always looking for a babbling brook with a soft waterfall or just the right two trees to walk between.
so it was appropriate that i spent the weekend in the pocanos (did i spell that right? LOL) anyway it was great! lots of fun, we went for a friend's wedding, one of my sister's and my mom went as well. and during the wedding ceremony, in walks a homeless woman, carrying what i presume to be all of her megar belongings. she walked right past the priest, the bride and groom, right in front of the whole congregation and sat herself down in a pew. stunned, everyone stared in silence. then a few people snickered-which made me mad. i always think to myself "there, but for the grace of god, go i." she was older, with a weathered face, that i found so beautiful. she crossed herself, and she bowed her head and she prayed. there was nothing pretentious about her. she had come for god's blessing, and then she looked up, hopeful, and participated in the rest of the mass.
people tend to judge homeless people. truth is, we don't know why they are homeless, or what circumstance brought them to where they are. it's a short road for alot of people. i don't look at them with pity, i pray that they find courage and strength to get up everyday and face their burdens...just like the rest of us.
erasmus wrote:
what else is a whole life of mortals, but a sort of comedy in which various actors, disguised by various costumes and masks walk on and play each one his part, until the manager waves them off the statge.
let us consider that we are all insane. it will explain us to eachother. it will unriddle many riddles. mark twain
until next time...safe journey.
so it was appropriate that i spent the weekend in the pocanos (did i spell that right? LOL) anyway it was great! lots of fun, we went for a friend's wedding, one of my sister's and my mom went as well. and during the wedding ceremony, in walks a homeless woman, carrying what i presume to be all of her megar belongings. she walked right past the priest, the bride and groom, right in front of the whole congregation and sat herself down in a pew. stunned, everyone stared in silence. then a few people snickered-which made me mad. i always think to myself "there, but for the grace of god, go i." she was older, with a weathered face, that i found so beautiful. she crossed herself, and she bowed her head and she prayed. there was nothing pretentious about her. she had come for god's blessing, and then she looked up, hopeful, and participated in the rest of the mass.
people tend to judge homeless people. truth is, we don't know why they are homeless, or what circumstance brought them to where they are. it's a short road for alot of people. i don't look at them with pity, i pray that they find courage and strength to get up everyday and face their burdens...just like the rest of us.
erasmus wrote:
what else is a whole life of mortals, but a sort of comedy in which various actors, disguised by various costumes and masks walk on and play each one his part, until the manager waves them off the statge.
let us consider that we are all insane. it will explain us to eachother. it will unriddle many riddles. mark twain
until next time...safe journey.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
in death do us part...
hello my friends!!ok..where the hell did summer go?? 90 degrees one day 60 the next! NY is like a fickle old lady! gotta love her! not so much!
lets talk about something we all hate to talk about. we don't even like to think about it. death. a beautiful young women died yesturday...and i mean young. no matter what your beliefs are i think its safe to say that some people stay on this earth waaaaayyy too long, and some are taken way too early. it's not so much the death part-although obviously that really sucks, but its all the suffering that goes with it. and not everyone is lucky enough to have someone like my BFF kelly to be there holding your hand, or my mother who made sure my father left this earth with as much dignity as possible. and as much as we prepare for death, and then after we walk around saying, "its for the best, they are in a better place." (that is true of course) but they are just words. you still feel the loss. that person is gone, and you still have the pain, and the emptiness inside of knowing that you wont ever hear them laugh again, or be able to touch them. it just takes time, so keep your pictures and your memories, that once, she locked you in a port-a-potty at inner harbor and almost knocked it over!
behind everybody we love lies the invitability of their loss. but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier when they are gone. and you are left with trying to come to terms with what's lost. (author unknown)
lets talk about something we all hate to talk about. we don't even like to think about it. death. a beautiful young women died yesturday...and i mean young. no matter what your beliefs are i think its safe to say that some people stay on this earth waaaaayyy too long, and some are taken way too early. it's not so much the death part-although obviously that really sucks, but its all the suffering that goes with it. and not everyone is lucky enough to have someone like my BFF kelly to be there holding your hand, or my mother who made sure my father left this earth with as much dignity as possible. and as much as we prepare for death, and then after we walk around saying, "its for the best, they are in a better place." (that is true of course) but they are just words. you still feel the loss. that person is gone, and you still have the pain, and the emptiness inside of knowing that you wont ever hear them laugh again, or be able to touch them. it just takes time, so keep your pictures and your memories, that once, she locked you in a port-a-potty at inner harbor and almost knocked it over!
behind everybody we love lies the invitability of their loss. but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier when they are gone. and you are left with trying to come to terms with what's lost. (author unknown)
Monday, August 30, 2010
i failed chemistry!
hello my friends!! you know summer is almost over when the great NYS fair is upon us!! all that traffic!! lol and that delicious smell when you drive by!! i always eat my way through the fair! i hope the good weather stays with us for alot longer though.
humans are supposed to be the smarter species, but we could learn a few lessons from animals. for instance, several species of animals mate for life. lets take canadian geese for example. they land on my pond every spring and every fall during their travels, honking up a storm! and when the hunters take their quota they always leave several devestated geese behind desperately searching for their mates. and they don't leave. they stay there. now humans on the other hand it's just not tha simple. because we are more intelligent and are always looking for more...we choose several mates in a lifetime.
it is my firm belief that MOST of us-and no not all, so those of you who married your childhood sweetie and still get the "utz" don't get your jockies in a knot! but most of us don't mate for life until we are in our 40s or even 50s. maybe later. its all about chemisty. i think we settle for whatever reason. 'cause "it's the right thing to do" (see my last blog!). or we want kids..whatever. one person has chemisty, the other not so much so what the heck lets get married we could be happy. but not for long. then its gone...it's no longer fun and boom you move on. but when you BOTH have that rare and amazing chemistry-grab it because thats the one. you get that "utz" in your stomach when they smile at you, or you look at them-even 10, 20 years later. but i think that comes with maturity, and knowing what you want. do you have your "utz"? i mean the long term "utz"? it's a legitimate question. don't settle. it's not fair to either of you and life is too short.
the good news and the bad news about chemisty is that we never fully understand how it works. every relationship is an experiment, you never know exactly what you'll get. (just like forrest gump and his box of chocolates!) some people bring out a side of you that you didn't know you had. some people remind you that your story isn't over. some people surprize you. and once in awhile you surprize yourself, and although all relationships require compromise, sometimes you get more not less. and sometimes YOU CAN"T GET MORE (obviously that statement is important), sometime what you had is gone forever. and although it's painful you have to find the strength to go on. to keep searching for that love, for that one perfect ingredient. no matter how far or how deep youo have to go to find it. (men in trees)
until next time...safe journey.
humans are supposed to be the smarter species, but we could learn a few lessons from animals. for instance, several species of animals mate for life. lets take canadian geese for example. they land on my pond every spring and every fall during their travels, honking up a storm! and when the hunters take their quota they always leave several devestated geese behind desperately searching for their mates. and they don't leave. they stay there. now humans on the other hand it's just not tha simple. because we are more intelligent and are always looking for more...we choose several mates in a lifetime.
it is my firm belief that MOST of us-and no not all, so those of you who married your childhood sweetie and still get the "utz" don't get your jockies in a knot! but most of us don't mate for life until we are in our 40s or even 50s. maybe later. its all about chemisty. i think we settle for whatever reason. 'cause "it's the right thing to do" (see my last blog!). or we want kids..whatever. one person has chemisty, the other not so much so what the heck lets get married we could be happy. but not for long. then its gone...it's no longer fun and boom you move on. but when you BOTH have that rare and amazing chemistry-grab it because thats the one. you get that "utz" in your stomach when they smile at you, or you look at them-even 10, 20 years later. but i think that comes with maturity, and knowing what you want. do you have your "utz"? i mean the long term "utz"? it's a legitimate question. don't settle. it's not fair to either of you and life is too short.
the good news and the bad news about chemisty is that we never fully understand how it works. every relationship is an experiment, you never know exactly what you'll get. (just like forrest gump and his box of chocolates!) some people bring out a side of you that you didn't know you had. some people remind you that your story isn't over. some people surprize you. and once in awhile you surprize yourself, and although all relationships require compromise, sometimes you get more not less. and sometimes YOU CAN"T GET MORE (obviously that statement is important), sometime what you had is gone forever. and although it's painful you have to find the strength to go on. to keep searching for that love, for that one perfect ingredient. no matter how far or how deep youo have to go to find it. (men in trees)
until next time...safe journey.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
what exactly is the right thing to do?
hello my friends!! wow look at this!! here i am writing again so quickly!! well i have alot on my mind these days. here we go again with the choices. not just me, my friends and family. all of us. what to do what to do. right? whats the right thing to do. well my pop always used to tell me that doing the right thing ISN'T always the right thing to do. i didn't get it then, but i did as i got older, and i sure do now. i see my friends in unhappy relationships, marraiges, jobs, situations, making up excuses about why they stay, ultimately i get "it's the right thing to do." all the while they are unhappy, and making the rest of us unhappy. excuses don't change the outcome. all to often we stick to what's familiar, whats safe. we like the routine, why take a chance of messing that up? hell, we might just be happy..it's like we are afraid of success. i'm just as guilty. always leaning on, "it's the right thing to do." afraid people will judge us, or make us feel guilty for taking in some pleasure, finding happiness. we shouldn't interfere in our friends and families lives because we don't agree with what they are doing or we don't think it's right. we may be affecting they're decisions with our opinions. don't do something you think is right because everyone says its right-it may not be the right thing to do. it may not be the right thing for YOU. i always say if it makes you happy, then it makes me happy. what i think, doesn't matter.
my predecessor abe lincoln once said "when i do good, i feel good. when i do bad, i feel bad." if only it were that black and white. sometimes doing the right thing makes you feel everything but good. it can feel scarey, or uncomfotable. [unhappy] because even when you make the right choices, things can still happen. as much as we want them, there are no guarentees [in life]. all we can do is have faith. and if we act with our heart, the things we do will one day make us feel right. even if sometimes the thing we do feels just a little wrong. (men in trees)
until next time...safe journey.
my predecessor abe lincoln once said "when i do good, i feel good. when i do bad, i feel bad." if only it were that black and white. sometimes doing the right thing makes you feel everything but good. it can feel scarey, or uncomfotable. [unhappy] because even when you make the right choices, things can still happen. as much as we want them, there are no guarentees [in life]. all we can do is have faith. and if we act with our heart, the things we do will one day make us feel right. even if sometimes the thing we do feels just a little wrong. (men in trees)
until next time...safe journey.
Monday, August 16, 2010
what about the past?
hello my friends!!! wow! what a fantastic summer!! and its just winging by so fast!! why can't winter go this fast? this blog took me a looong time to write. not only was i studying for the "dreaded test"..LOL..right donnie? but it was hard to find the right words. so i wrote it, then i re-wrote it. the i re-wrote it again! yikes! i've never second guessed myself so many times!! i've been doing that lately-i don't recommend it, its not a good idea.
ah the past. its a double-edged, no a triple-edged sword, ok multiple edges!! you can fall off at any given moment. i've heard it said, "don't dwell on the past" or "don't go back unless you want to be there." well sometimes i do want to be there. i had some damn good times i'd like to relive over and over again. or maybe i'd "get it right" this time. but mostly i don't like, or want to make the same mistakes twice, so i want to learn from my past. you can't just sweep the past under the rug and walk away. doesn't work like that. number one you wont learn a damn thing from it, number two it doesn't just go away, its always there, it WILL find you and it sneaks up on you in the most inconvenient times. you gotta face it. own it. and yes that is the voice oof experiece talking there. LOL. and i don't know a single person in this world who hasn't made mistakes and then just tried to forget them or hide from them. damn dog wakes up everytime. and number three-don't forget about those good times-enjoy them. that's why they're called "the good ol' days."
we think of the past as water under the bridge, a current that carries away the mistakes of our youth. the loves we lost, the addictions we gave into, the opportunities we threw away. but sooner or later reminders drift back into our lives of the mistakes we've made and the sins we've commited. and we do have to pay for them.
the past is never truely behind us. ghosts lurk in the shadows eagar to remind us of the choices we made. but if we look back, we might find an old friend welcoming us with open arms, or an old enemy with a hidden agenda. sadly, some of us refuse to look back, never understanding that by denying the past, we are condemed to repeat it. (author unknown)
until next time...safe journey.
ah the past. its a double-edged, no a triple-edged sword, ok multiple edges!! you can fall off at any given moment. i've heard it said, "don't dwell on the past" or "don't go back unless you want to be there." well sometimes i do want to be there. i had some damn good times i'd like to relive over and over again. or maybe i'd "get it right" this time. but mostly i don't like, or want to make the same mistakes twice, so i want to learn from my past. you can't just sweep the past under the rug and walk away. doesn't work like that. number one you wont learn a damn thing from it, number two it doesn't just go away, its always there, it WILL find you and it sneaks up on you in the most inconvenient times. you gotta face it. own it. and yes that is the voice oof experiece talking there. LOL. and i don't know a single person in this world who hasn't made mistakes and then just tried to forget them or hide from them. damn dog wakes up everytime. and number three-don't forget about those good times-enjoy them. that's why they're called "the good ol' days."
we think of the past as water under the bridge, a current that carries away the mistakes of our youth. the loves we lost, the addictions we gave into, the opportunities we threw away. but sooner or later reminders drift back into our lives of the mistakes we've made and the sins we've commited. and we do have to pay for them.
the past is never truely behind us. ghosts lurk in the shadows eagar to remind us of the choices we made. but if we look back, we might find an old friend welcoming us with open arms, or an old enemy with a hidden agenda. sadly, some of us refuse to look back, never understanding that by denying the past, we are condemed to repeat it. (author unknown)
until next time...safe journey.
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