the new you

hello my friends!!! have you all dug yourselves out of this sloppy mess yet? took me all afternoon!! UGH!! enough!! i'm still reeling from all this dating-or non dating hub bub thats going on all around me-LOL. as i look at my friends-including myself actually...we make small changes to make ourselves feel better. a new doo-hair doo for those of you who are verbally challenged-LOL, we get our nails done, toes painted, buy some new clothes, the guys grow goatees, whick BTW are sexy as hell!! whatever we need to do to say here i am, new and improved!! i think its a great idea!! change something, anything!! break the routine, try something new-make yourself over, and break the mold, even if its a little scarey. you'll feel better!! i promise!! and you wont feel like you are being left behind in a rut.

[its a painful process sometimes but] we need to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute, because the world can change in an instant. and there's no time for looking back. sometimes the changes are forced on us, sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. we have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. so we change. we adapt. we create new versions of ourselves. we just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last. (grey's anatomy)

until the next time...safe journey.

all around me

hello my friends!!! is winter aalmost over yet?? maybe this crappy weather is why all these break ups are going on around me. wow...its the topic of almost every conversation i have. either someone's relationship is in peril, or someone is having their heart broken, or just some form of suffering along that line. this blog is dedicated to one of my friends in particular who is having an especially hard time accepting the end of his relationship. his X girlfriend just blindsided him with it and he never saw it coming, and i have a real problem with that because that's what ruins us good people. and ya i'm speaking for myself here too. we think everthing is going well and then wham you wake up one day and its over and you have no idea what hit you. the idea of ever starting over again is insane. why would anyone ever want to open themselves up to that kind of pain ever again?? especially when we can't even get the answers or the closure we need from the last one? (well thats another blog)...thats just the way its is, i don't have any good advice here guys, i'm sorry.

you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, thats the sad truth. maybe you'll break their heart, maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll never be able to look at yourelf in the same way. those are the risks.
you see two people and you think "they belong together," but nothing happens. the thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. that's the burden. like wings[-for instance]. they have weight. we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. a burden that allows us to fly. [thats what love is supposed to be. so we keep taking the risk.] (bones}

until next time...safe jouney.

it's just a hiccup

hello my friends!! as hard as it is for us single people these days-and as you can tell IT'S HARD!!! LOL...i think that its going to turn around for us in the near future. i take comfort in the fact that i am NOT alone. its the topic of conversation no matter where i go, in school, with friends, family..and its hit all ages and every stage of life. so if history repeats itself, and we know it does-then we've hit the bottom of the barrel!! lets turn this thing around now lmao!! i think even some of my guy friends have had enough of the crap-if you can believe that. so enough said....i recently watched a funny movie called he's just not into you and here's what i learned...(quoted from the movie)

girls are taught alot of stuff growing up. if a boy punches you, he likes you, never try and trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we are told emplores us to wait for it: the 3rd act twist, the unexpected declaration of love. the exceptions to the rule? sometimes we are so focused on finding our happy ending we don't know how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the one's who will stay from the ones who will leave.
and maybe this happy ending doesn't include a wonderful guy. maybe its you on your own picking up the pieces and starting over. freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on.
or maybe the happy ending is this. knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts, through all the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment-you never gave up hope.

until next time...safe journey.

bad for business...

hello my friends!! i am sorry i haven't been blogging much. those of you who know me well know that i have not been myself at all. on top of being busy with school-which is a totally legitimate excuse, i have been foolish enough to let someone wreek havoc in my life-which is definately not a legitimate excuse at all. but excuses don't change the outcome however true it may be. and i want you to notice the way i said that...i let him-so i am accepting the blame. we all have done it...you get into a relationship, or you meet someone you really like and you get totally wrapped up in them-forgetting who you are. its all about them, you want them in your life so bad that you put your needs aside, and before you know it you are making bad choices and looking in the mirror at a stranger. so take your power back if its happening to you, take back your energy. and never lose your friends and family, i wouldn't have remembered who i am without mine...

desire...an emotion designed to lead us astray. persuading those who crave love to make foolish choices. causing those who yearn for family to act out in anger. allowing those who are lonely to behave in wreckless ways. and when the pursuit of our hearts desire becomes an obsession, the best we can hope for is a caring friend willing to come along...and stop us. (author unknown)


until next time...safe journey.

be mine

hello my friends!! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! i think by now most of you know how i feel about love. there are days when i don't think that it's out there at all. yet...still...there are times when i hope that someone will show up in the middle of the night with a quater pounder with cheese, no onions , large fry, and a chocolate shake!! LMAO! i think that love is a choice. you have to choose to love someone. its a choice you have to make every single day when you wake up next to the person you love. so for those of you who chose love again today i wish you happiness and joy, and i hope it lasts for as long as you want it to. for those of you who are single, i know it's a very lonely day so...go get a dog!! they still crowd you on the bed, steal the covers, snore, fart and burp in their sleep, LOL, but...they keep you warm, love you no matter what, are always happy to see you, doesn't matter what you look like, or smell like for that matter, and here's the best part-they pee outside!! so, i decided that todays quote would keep the theme of love for valentine's day...

before the "big bang", before time itself. before matter, energy, velocity...there exsisted a single immesurable state called yearning. it is a special force. a powerful force. it is the unseen strings tying the planets to the stars. it is the maddening want we feel from first breath..to last light. (author unknown)

ever thine. ever mine. ever ours. (beethoven)

until next time...safe jouney.

to an old friend

hello my friends!! first i'd like to say that i'm on my way to sunny florida!! but i'd be lying LMAO...i'm not!! i'm stuck here in NY freezing my butt off like the rest of you!! this blog is dedicated to an old friend of mine-lets call him brad-now i know you're smiling brad arent you!! haha!! back in highschool when i was freshman and brad was a senior i had such a crush on him!! and then we did the highschool play together and OMG i did everything i could to get his attention and NOTHING worked!! who knew that all these years and facebook later we would re-connect and FINALLY become friends!! and what a great friend he has been!! i think i still have a bit of a crush..LOL but its just because he's said all the right things when i have been feeling a bit down lately. why didn't you notice me back then dammit?? i'm just kidding! thanks for being amoung my few close friends and family who have been their for me-TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH!!! everyone needs a brad...

in our darkest moments we all need someone who will listen. some turn to professionals. a few rely on those who are older and wiser. others seek out someone who knows what they are going through. but for most of us nothing is quite so theraputic as a good long talk with a few old friends...(desperate housewives)

until next time...safe journey.

did you miss the bus??

hello my friends!!! anyone out there sporting a fake suntan?? LOL?? well i'm not proud, i'm going for one, anything to make me think i'm warm!! ok i gotta ask...how many of you out there ask for someone great to come along after you've just gone through a crappy break-up?? you deserve a great person right?? or when you're hurting you just want that heartache to go away?? send me somebody to make it all better?? then when we get what we ask for we don't want it. we make up excuses. we aren't ready. it's too soon, i'm too busy. whatever. i can admit it-i've done it myself. i've passed up alot of great people like that. and when i finally realized i have made a mistake its too late. i've hurt them, and they moved on to somebody who actually deserved them. we ask for things, maybe without even knowing, but we do. and when the universe sends us those gifts we send them back. after awhile-if we don't start paying attention, there'll be no more gifts.

the thing about a missed connection is once you've realized you've missed it, its already gone. you can't go back in time and make it all better. all you can do is move forward and try your best to make new memories to take over the old ones. kiss new people to overtake your old fears. and sometimes-SOMETIMES-if you're VERY lucky, the old people can become new again, and everything comes into focus, and you can imagine what your future could be.

until next time...safe journey.

happily never after

hello my friends! i have resigned myself to the fact that the universe didn't put me here to find love and share my life with another human being romantically. i am considered an earth angel. a lightworker actually. i fix broken people. people w/heartaches. i fix them, put them back on their spiritual path and i send them on their way. thats the way it goes and i have too accept that. so...here i am. if you feel broken, down in spirit, broken hearted you know how to find me. just ask the universe to send you an angel and i will be there.

we all remember the bedtime stories from our childhoods. the shoe fits cinderella, the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened by a kiss. one upon a time, and then they lived happily ever after. fairytales. the stuff of dreams. the problem is, fairytales don't come true. it's the other stories that begin with with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. its the nightmeres that always seem to become the reality. the person who invented the phrase happily ever after should have his ass kicked so hard!!(grey's anatomy)

until next time...safe jouney.

worry!! worry!! worry!!

hello my friends!! i am going to do something hard today..talk about one of my faults LOL. ok its not that hard for me to do. but it is for some people. but just because i am talking about this fault unfortunately wont make it go away. its still going to happen, buuuuttt,at least i can admit it LOL. i worry about everythang-and yeah i meant to spell it that way. everythang. what will the future bring? did i study enugh? will i pass this course i am taking? is this going to happen is that going to happen? AM I EVER GOING TO FIND LOVE? UGH!! sometimes i drive myself crazy!! most people are like me...a few of you may be carefree, but most of us worry. we want to know what the future holds..but like i have said before, looking at the future usually changes it anyway, simply because you looked at it. and that changes everything else...so guess what? you still don't know whats going to happen...LOL...so here's today's quote:

we're all susceptible to it. the dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming. it's pointless in the end, because all the worrying, and all the making of plans for all the things that could or could not happen-it only makes things worse. so...walk your dog, or take a nap. just whatever you do stop worrying. because the only cure for paranoia is to be...here...just as you are. whats going to happen is going to happen. (grey's anatomy)

until next time...safe journey.

am i going the right way?

hello my friends!! the damn groundhog saw his shadow!! LOL i say we get a second opinion!! i've been having bloggers block lately. not that i don't have enough quotes or enough subjects for those quotes to cover..LOL, i have 5 full journals and getting ready to start number 6. i've been preoccupied lately, with school amoung other things. it would be nice if someone could tell me if i was doing this right, and how to manage all aspects of my life so they fit better. some of us seek advise or direction from others-unless you're a guy of course then you never stop for directions LOL!!! which brings me to the question, why doesn't life come with an instruction manual?? LOL of course i am joking. for one re a gothat would be too easy, and it would also be too boring, i mean everyone would get exactly the same outcome, and end up in exactly the same place, yuck! so yes, we struggle, we get lost, but utlimately we get to make our own choices and choose our own paths....

in every journey the traveler musk as " was the right path taken?" many roads are long and winding, filled with those who have lost their way. some forge there own course guided by faith, seeking not location but a kindred soul. others step together finding safety in the arms of anotoher. a few remove themselves from the trail to avoid the path of temptation. but those who watch the track too closely fail to see where it lead them..and they are often all too surprized at their destination.

until next time...safe joouney.